big news, my dears. phenomenal, really. this up-coming monday will mark the first public appearance of destructicus herself. but i won't be alone. oh no. natalie will be accompanying me as the super-villain of her own making. wearing helmets fashioned from tinfoil and capes fashioned from bed-sheets, we shall roam the streets, laying waste to all who stand in our path and leaving in our wake nothing but charred remains.

ok, i'm not THAT delusional. the only things we're likely to leave in our wake are confused onlookers and the mocking laughter of children and the elderly. the plan so far is to walk to target and wander around there for a while. we walk, as we have no other means of transportation at this juncture, plus walking will give that many more people the opportunity to behold our terrible glory. we go to target cuz, well, it's the only place TO hangout, really. i told mary about it, and invited her to come along dressed as a heroic-type figure, but she sounded rather non-committal and uninterested in her response. so then i asked to borrow her camera, as an occasion such as this DEMANDS pictures be taken. if i like any of them, i may very well post them here. then you shall get to see the REAL destructicus, and not just shoddy pictures i make with paint that look like elves, or so i've heard.

you think i'm kidding, but i couldn't be MORE serious. these things make life worth living, people! i started making my costume tonight. meaning i dusted off my black, knee-high boots and made a glove. well, it's not so much a "glove" as it is a "sleeve not attached to anything with a hole for my thumb to stick through." and have you ever tried making a glove with only your own arm to use as a model? well, unless you're rather skilled at holding a piece of material around your arm while using your teeth to pin it in place (which i am clearly NOT), you may want to just skip the whole experience and BUY gloves. having no money, i opted for the cheap route and just chopped up something i already had and reworked it. i used an old pajama top, as i don't wear pajamas, but my step-mother LOVES to give them to me as gifts. that and smelly lotions i never use. she sure has me pegged.

i told mom about the plan, as i had to ask to borrow money for film. she laughed and said something about this being the perfect activity for me and natalie to undertake together. i have to say, i'm getting excited for this. if i weren't such a naturally calm and detached person, i'd clap my hands together and squeal like a little girl. but that's hardly proper decorum for a would-be super-villain, now is it?

plans for tomorrow: make a matching "glove" for my other arm and perhaps put together a make-shift skirt, as i don't own any and the knee-high boots are kinda pointless without one.

last night i dreamt i had money AND found two packs of cigarettes in a couple shirt pockets. when i woke up in the afternoon, i had the worst. craving. ever. it felt like i had given them up yesterday. oh lord, it sucked. and i wish i could remember more of the dream, cuz it was really neat, and there were a lot of people i like around. plus i was smoking, and it was fabulous.

and because i have a simpsons quote rolling around my head for no reason, i'm going to end with it. i can't remember if i've posted this one before, so if i have, just pretend i haven't and laugh wildly, mmkay?
hank: you will notice, my new best friend, that we're pretty casual around here.
homer: yes, sir. i will notice that. very casual, mr scorpion.
hank: don't call me mr scorpion, it's mr scorpio, but don't call me that either. call me hank!