pictures at the beach turned into a bonfire and beer at the beach with a couple other friends, and that turned into my ex sulking on the opposite side of the fire, which then turned into him walking away to sit in his car alone, which then turned into me saying, "fuck it" and going skinny dipping with two other girls. i am done feeling guilty for not caring about him, i just can't deal with this. he can sulk all he wants, it is not really making me want to hang out with him any more.

i got asked out last night, by a gamer. he suggested we go to dinner in "rl" and then informed me he could roll a perform check to play romantic polka ("rl" being "real life" for those who are not role-playing nerds). i almost would, if it were just dinner, but i don't really need another obsessive fan-boy stalking me. there is only one gamer i would actually consider dating, if he weren't currently involved. although, yesterday he did say that he should dump his girlfriend for me.

i guess i am inherently attractive to gamers?

i woke up feeling pretty amazing today, but everything went downhill from there and the day ended a lot crappier than it started. i have somehow been put in charge of seven other people while our two supervisors dick around with the remaining four. this has gone on for like the past four days. and i have no idea what's going on because no one tells me anything. and just about everything that could go wrong today did, and even though it is no one's fault i still feel responsible. this is not my job. i cannot do my work AND make sure everyone else is not fucking up. i do not make enough for that to be ok.

it's alright, though. i'm gonna go chainsmoke and feel better for having vented in my diary. i have started smoking again this summer, mostly out of stress.